My search for the meaning of things or life

We all should have questions, we all should seek answers for them.
My search for the meaning of things or life, as we call it, from things or life (as we call it), from meanings, from meaningless left me no wise. Everything was perfect, picture perfect, or seemed. But this was not what is sought, neti-neti. Then what is it that I seek, actually I am sucked by this “I”, so as time passes, its not “seeking” that I am after, rather “I” that is seeking itself in all manifestation, it’s the search, searching itself, it’s the seeker. All by itself, all for himself, what a pity, what a waste……..
I was in hurry, I ran, fast forwarded myself, was taken in by work, took all the load that I could not bear, sustained. Saw everything pass by me, maybe I ignored everything, everybody. May be I was wrong, may be not, it all depends on how one sees. Everything I did, I said was wrong, was right.
And then one day I felt like taking rest, took a deep breath, and thought about resting, lazing around. Wanted to speak to somebody, wanted something I haven’t experienced for long. There are times when everything might seem ok but one feels confused and then at next moment or there is a flash, a thought, when everything becomes clear, and in this moment everything was in front of me, the thought was lying before me.
And then I realized I was alone, and I took a deep breath….