dream

“It all seems like a dream”, I heard ma saying, when we were watching the photo albums.
I came to Delhi for the search of a job, and so it seemed, like yesterday, and like a dream. And I never knew I would change so much, a change like a chemical reaction. It was like vulcanization. A process to harden natural rubber, doping it with impurities, usually sulphur, because natural rubber is soft and of no commercial value. Only problem with vulcanization, its irreversible.
I was thought be impractical, not fit for the world, because the supposed qualification to fit in this world is to dupe the people who trust you.
Words fail me, thoughts run away from me, and once you have used your quota of words, one cannot ask for more words. For while playing with words I come across some sentences, they are thrown from the unknown directions of cosmos. We all are showered with the rains of advice, or SMS in newer avatar. Wonderful they are, for they conjure up a image that is fit with the life we live. A movie reminded me something a few days back, I wish to end this blog-post with the realization.
I have been wrong, and my personal opinion goes to add that wrong should not exist. But if a person is wrong, he cannot be eliminated, rather the identity which is thought to be wrong should be eliminated. Period.

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing - Edmund Burke"

fever

I was not afraid of insanity or madness, it runs in my family, its only a matter of time that it will catch with me.
Was it illusion, illusions, delusions or dementia? A constant state of mind in suspension, but seemed more real. Madness or truth, its debate time immortal. What I see, I cannot perceive. That is why these words come to me.
Dissecting each thought, each action is more harder, and the corpse of thoughts that lie after this is more dreadful, more difficult to clean. Blood on my hands, I am helpless. We are not discussing theology, philosophy, or other worldliness. My words are the my actions in papers. All this is past, but past keeps happening in paper, in our thoughts, in the mind, whoever reads them, thinks them, feels it.
Again, it is receding from me, my suspension in time, I am coming back to today. Goodbye the illusions, welcome the world!

rains

Rain, or rather rains filled all the Delhi, all the roads, all the view from the cabs window, and my memories. Sky, from blue had taken all the colors of black… grey, silver, dark and the color of drizzle. What I was seeing was not very far from me, a world so near and yet so distant. A world moving so fast and yet so still. Cab was running faster than thoughts, faster than the near and far world.
Rains are so much related with memories, I thought so hard but could not find the reason why summer, winter, spring are not associated with it. Strange!
It was all grey, the world outside and inside..It poured heavily. What was I thinking? Nothing. I never had the power to think. To think, body has to undergo a lot of chemical reactions, and of course a lot of brainy stuff plus what not! And I had none, no capacity to think, let even contain myself, my thoughts.
Every drop is added to the puddle of water lying everywhere. A dry road would first turn dark when first shower comes. Slowly it starts flowing and then it has collected on some place where it would find some space. What am I talking? Water, of course. And then more would come, filling up every nook and corner. It is so demanding, that until you are not drenched up, or at least wet, wet to your soul, till than it would not stop. And once you have felt it. It will come again for you. And second time its more harder. This time nobody escapes. And than it will come over and over again, until it is not satisfied.
Have you every had a vision? Go on top of a building, a high-rise in your town. From the roof you should be able to see whole of the city on clear night. Now go to that roof-top on a day when it has rained for days, and it is still raining, raining heavily. Please do not take any raincoats, umbrella or ant other protection, this can seriously harm you. Any attempt with raincoats etc is insanity. Reach for the edge, let the monsoon be in you, feel the cold water in every bone, in every shiver you feel. Let every drop hit you, let every cloud to get inside you breath, you lungs, your body. Now see the world. Remember the rains should be very heavy, else you will lose everything. Now did you see the world. What is it? Grey? An outline of everything? No definite images? And what do we feel? Cold? Shiver? No, this is what I call vision, nothing definite, but cold, not rational, but still in front of you, on the edge.

...the best time to visit Kumaon is...

the best time to visit Kumaon is,
whenever your heart yearns for it...
its always a call, which is impossible to ignore..
so whatever the season, whatever the time
follow your heart, and then you will find
the beauty, the joy, the nature,
and all that, that cannot be captured,
in words, in camera,
and a love that is endless...
...and which is from eternity

and then He wispered..

and then He whispered to me,

you will find me in next turn,

and so i journeyed on.....

all there was the silence

and then there was tranquility